Cancer Treatment Update: Lupron Injections

It has been over a year since I LAST GAVE AN UPDATE on my cancer journey, so I thought it was about time to give another one.

A few months after my most recent mastectomy (which was in January 2019), I started having some gynecologic issues and I was concerned about it being a new cancer. In May 2019, I ended up having a uterine biopsy that was, thankfully, benign. Several months later, the issues continued, so my doctor performed a D&C which also showed no problems. After further testing, it was finally determined my ovaries were still producing a small amount of hormonal activity.

That's when my Oncologist stepped in and decided I needed to be given Lupron injections along with the Arimidex/Anastrozole I was already taking. Without the shots, the Arimidex would not be effective, and the chance of my cancer returning would be much higher.

So, in March 2020, I was given my first Lupron shot. I've had 2 so far, and will continue getting them at least once per month until the doctor says I don't need them anymore. It might be a year or more, but won't be forever.

The side effects of this new med have not been bad. The joints in my knuckles are sore again (which is actually a good thing, because it shows the meds are working!), I have been more fatigued, have had an increased amount of hot flashes, and have also had some headaches. But, nothing has been unbearable, and I'm so thankful.

A lot has changed in this past year, both personally and within our world.
But one thing is sure - God doesn't change.
He is always good.
He is always there to give strength when needed.
What a blessing.

GRATEFUL for Minimal Side Effects from New Meds

About a month ago, I started taking Arimidex in its generic form. I was concerned about the side effects I might have, but I'm happy to report I am doing very well on it so far. I have had:

• some mild fatigue
• occasional difficulty sleeping through the nights
• mild joint pain, kind of like arthritis

Over all, the side effects have not been unbearable. It is definitely harder to open jars now, and my knees hurt when I'm bending down; but, over all, the side effects have not been unbearable, and I am giving thanks with a GRATEFUL heart. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for me.

NOTE:  The plaque above was given to me by my sister-in-law. At the time she bought it, she didn't realize how well it was going to coincide with my theme of GRATEFULNESS for this year, but God knew about it in advance. It is hanging on the wall in my kitchen to help remind me daily to give thanks and be GRATEFUL in all circumstances.

God Uses Stress to Draw Us Closer to Him

I would never say I am "happy" about stressful situations that pop up in my life. No one is happy about stress. But, I am always grateful for how God uses these situations to draw me closer to Himself.

Life has been crazy busy for me ever since my surgery in January; not really anything earth shattering; its just been one thing after another that has come up. Sometimes it has been a good kind of busy, and sometimes not. Regardless, the busyness and stress these past few months has been distracting me. It has made it harder for me to take the time I need for sitting and "de-compressing" in God's presence.

Last Monday, I shared those thoughts in an e-mail to David's mom, as we often keep in touch about things going on in our lives. Then, a few days later, God used one of my recent stress factors (i.e. car troubles), to get me alone with Him. You see, David's car was no longer safe for him to be driving to work and he had been using my van. So, my mom graciously allowed me to use her car to go to a scheduled checkup with my surgeon. Mom's car did not have a working radio or CD player. So, since I was alone in the car, I was able to use my travel time to pray and sing praise songs to my Lord. It ended up being refreshing for me to have that alone time with Him - because the Joy of the Lord is my strength.

I AM GRATEFUL:

• for being able to share my heart with David's mom, and my mom as well. They are both great listeners.
• for the use of my mom's car when my car was unavailable.
• for the lack of music in mom's car. 
• that my mom was willing and able to stay home with EL while I went to the appointment.
• that I was able to have some alone time with God.
• for stressful situations that remind me of my need for God.
• for the strength God gives me when I need it most. 

Oh, and, I'm also grateful that David was able to find a good deal on a "new" car that will also provide much better gas mileage as he drives an hour to work each day.

God is good ALL the time.

I'm Beginning Arimidex Tonight

Yesterday's appointment with my Oncologist went well (once we finally got to see him, that is. We ended up waiting 2 hours past my appointment time before he walked into the room!)

The doc quickly went over my lab results. There were 3 of them:  Estradiol, LH, and FSH. Two of them showed I am post-menopausal. The third one showed inconclusive, but the doc said that one was the least reliable of the three. So, based on the lab results and all the other evidence, he said he is 98% sure I am post-menopausal. If not completely, then I'm almost there. So, he felt comfortable prescribing the generic version of Arimidex for me, and I will begin taking it tonight at bed time.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I was concerned I was going to need another surgery to have my ovaries removed in order to force me into menopause (if I already wasn't). But, now, that doesn't need to happen. I am extremely GRATEFUL about that.

The side effects of the med do not thrill me - things like increased risk of osteoporosis, increased risk of high cholesterol, increased risk of blood clots, bone pain, hot flashes, fatigue, mood changes, nausea, etc. - but the risks of NOT taking it are a little more bothersome to me. So, I am going to give it a try. Some women have very little problem with it; so hopefully that will be the case with me. 

I will see my doc again in 3 months to discuss how I'm doing. I appreciate your prayers, and will update you when I can.

Not Done with All Treatments Yet

If you've been looking for a new post from me, I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately. Between my recent surgery and also getting Mom moved in and settled, life has been extremely busy. (Yes, if you haven't already heard, Mom had decided it was time for a change, so the family worked together to make it possible for her to move in with us.)

Things are finally beginning to slow down for now, so I wanted to take this lull time to update you with my recent visit to see my Oncologist. 

On February 20th, after my second checkup with my surgeon, I had a consultation with my Oncologist. I received some GREAT NEWS from him, which is, I will not need any chemotherapy or radiation to treat my cancer this time around! He said the left-side mastectomy surgery was all that was needed for this one. So, we are very grateful for that bit of news.

However, it has been recommended that I begin taking a daily medication called Arimidex. 

At first, the doc said I would not need any meds; but, as David and I began to ask questions, and we all discussed my case further, the doc ended up changing his mind.

It was decided, the most recent cancer (left side) is not really a concern anymore, because it was non-invasive. But, the previous cancer (right side) WAS invasive. So, that is the one we still need to be concerned about. That is the one that has a potential to return - to metastasize - to another part of the body. It could still come back into the small amount of tissue that remains after surgery, or come back in the lungs, or in the bones, or somewhere else. So, that is the one we need to continue addressing.

Then, it was decided we needed to know for certain if I am past the menopause stage, because Arimidex is most effective in post-menopausal women. So, labs were drawn to help determine this. At this point, the results are inconclusive, and I'm not exactly sure why. I have another consultation coming up this Tuesday to discuss it more, and we will determine the next step in the process.

Of course, I was hoping for no further treatments at all, but I know it could be a lot worse.

I AM GRATEFUL:

• I don't need chemo or radiation.
• For an involved husband who asks a lot of questions.
• For good doctors.
• For modern medicine.
• For family and friends who care about me and will continue to pray me through.

Post-Surgery Gratitude

I had my 2nd mastectomy this past Tuesday, and I have many things to be grateful for. Here are just a few that I want to mention:

1. I did not get sick before surgery, so it did not need to be postponed. 
2. The nurse who took care of me before and after surgery was wonderful. I was not able to have an IV placed in either of my arms/hands, so it had to be inserted in a foot. She was having trouble with my tiny veins, and ended up sticking me 3 times, but the 3rd time worked. She was very patient and calm through it all, and I even heard her whisper a prayer, "Please, Lord" before sticking me for the 3rd time. God answered her prayer.
3. Surgery went well, without any complications. It took around 3 hours.
4. I did not get nauseous after surgery like I have in the past, because they gave me a Scopalamine patch behind my ear to keep the nausea away.
5. I was doing well after surgery, so I was able to go home that same afternoon.
6. I am thankful for our new recliner. It has been helpful for me, because laying down on a bed was difficult and painful for the first few nights.
7. My mother was not able to come for the surgery, due to sickness, but David's parents were able to be here. David's dad went with us to the hospital, and his mom, Sharon, stayed at the house with the kids. Sharon is still here helping out where needed, and I am very grateful for her help. 
8. Several ladies from our church have brought over meals, which has been a true blessing! Other friends and family have sent private messages, cards, flowers, and/or made phone calls to encourage and pray with me. True Christian hospitality in the works.
9. It is a blessing to have my husband, David, with me through doctor appointments, surgery, post-surgery care, etc. I trust him and am grateful for his wisdom and medical knowledge.
10. The surgeon I had was the same one I had 6 years ago. So, I was comfortable with him. Before surgery, he always initials the area that is going to be operated on. This is how he did mine: 

 
11.  I know my surgeon's hands were guided by "The Great Physician," just like it shows in the picture below. This picture was hanging in my surgeon's office when I went in for a pre-surgery consultation. David pointed it out to me, and I had to take a picture of it.

 

Here's a close up look at the verse on the bottom of the picture.

 

12.  The nurses and doctors took good care of me at the hospital, including the way they wrapped me in warm blankets after surgery. It made me feel warm and cozy as I was waking up.

13.  Pain medications worked well, so my pain has not been unbearable. I'm mostly just really sore, and also uncomfortable from the drainage tube and side effects of surgery. I am taking things one day at a time, and look forward to Wednesday, when the drainage tube will be removed.

14.  We are still waiting for the pathology report to come back but, from what we know so far, we are anticipating all the margins to be clear and all of the cancer to be gone. Time will tell.

15.  I have had good days and hard days but, through it all, I am counting my blessings. God is  good all the time.
 

The Start of My Gratitude Journal

At the end of 2018, I saw and shared a photo on Facebook that showed a glass jar with folded up pieces of paper in it. The words on the photo gave the suggestion to write down one blessing each week and put it in the jar. Then, at the end of the year, go back and read them all. I thought that was such a great idea and decided I wanted to give it a try. But, then the thought came to me that a "gratitude journal" would work just as well, and I would be more apt to actually follow through with doing it if I did it that way. So, I found an empty, spiral notebook and began my entries on January 1st.

Its a pretty simple thing to do. Each day, I write out one or two (sometimes more) things I am thankful for. I have my notebook and pen on a table next to my bed and usually write in it before turning out the lights. It is a good way to help me fall asleep while thinking about the blessings in my life. I write down things from my day that made me smile, kind acts from someone, a kind act I did for someone else, or just something or someone I have thought about that day. 

Here's a look at my entries from this past week:

JANUARY 6 (Sunday): I am grateful for my teen son's hugs. Tonight, as we were getting ready to eat supper, I spilled an entire pan of pizza onto the bottom of our hot oven. I was upset and stressed, but JJ helped me clean up the mess, and then spontaneously gave me a hug. It really helped calm me and made things so much better. Just a simple hug can make a world of difference.

JANUARY 7 (Mon): Today is JJ's birthday. I am grateful to have shared 16 years with him so far. He is growing into a fine young man with a kind heart. I love him so much. I am also grateful his cousin/best friend was able to be here to help us celebrate.

JANUARY 8 (Tues):  I am grateful for the new recliner couch that arrived yesterday. It is very comfortable and was MUCH needed to replace our old 22-year-old hide-a-bed couch. This recliner will be VERY helpful as I am recovering from surgery next Tuesday, the 15th.

JANUARY 9 (Wed):  I am grateful for the way God brings strength and encouragement at just the right time. I have been really stressed this week, trying to get things accomplished before surgery, and frantically trying to  keep things disinfected so I don't get sick. Then, today I read a devotional in "Our Daily Bread" (it was actually the one from yesterday). It reminded me that worrying does not help the situation I am worried about. God is in control and I need to place my trust in HIM.

JANUARY 10 (Thurs): I am grateful for the relaxing, inspirational piano music that I can listen to on my tablet as I fall asleep tonight. It soothes my soul.
 
JANUARY 11 (Fri):  I am grateful for the safe travels of friends and family who needed to travel this afternoon in bad weather.

JANUARY 12 (Sat):  I am grateful David and I were able to sleep in this morning. I love our Saturday morning snuggles. I am also thankful for snow plows, the people who drive them, and my warm home. 

If you haven't already started your own GRATITUDE JOURNAL, its not too late to start. Just grab a notebook, or notebook paper, and start writing. It will become a blessing to you - I am sure of it - as well as a treasured keepsake to look back on at the end of the year.

TRUST #45: Cancer "Processing Mode"

I'm posting another TRUST post today instead of on Sunday, because I have information to share that I know many of you have been waiting to hear.

I finally had a consultation yesterday with my Oncologist.
 
Here are the facts:

1. This is a NEW cancer, totally unrelated to my first cancer from 6 years ago.
2. The cancer is Stage 0 - which means it is currently non-invasive. (This is good news because my first cancer was stage 2.)
3. The cancer is High Grade - which means it started growing quickly, and will continue growing quickly. So, even though it is currently Stage 0 (non-invasive), it could quickly change into invasive if it is not removed. 
4. The cancer is 97% Estrogen Positive, which means Estrogen is what is making it grow.
5. The cancer is also 1% Progesterone Positive.
6. The best course of action is a mastectomy. I will be seeing my surgeon for a consultation on December 20th. 
7. I will not be needing any kind of bone scans or PET scans before surgery. I will not need to have them done at all, unless the pathology report after surgery contains new information that would require more testing. 
8. I have been taking Tamoxifen for the past 5 1/2 years in order to block the estrogen my body makes. If I had not been taking it, this new cancer might have happened a lot sooner than it did. However, it is apparently not working on me as effectively as it should. So, my doctor told me to stop taking it.
9. After my surgery, I will begin taking a different medication (I don't know the name of it yet) that should hopefully be more effective.
10. If all goes as planned, and they don't find any "surprises" in my pathology report, I will not need chemo or radiation treatments.

How is this affecting me?

• I'm experiencing what you might call "processing mode." I have received all the information, and now I am working through different thoughts and emotions. Even though I have had cancer before, its not any easier this time around.
• I am so thankful this cancer was caught early. Things could be much worse!
• At the same time, I'm feeling a bit "down"about needing to go through another mastectomy. 
• I am also wondering what is making ME so prone to this type of cancer, especially since I have no family history of it. (My dad had prostate cancer, but that's not quite the same). I want answers, but the answers may not be revealed in my lifetime. 
• Through it all, I'm still TRUSTING in God's plans for my life, and I know He will be there to help me and my family through this.

TRUST #43: The Biopsy Results

One week after my biopsy, a call finally came in from Dr. B. It was a Tuesday evening, around 7:15 p.m. The caller ID showed who it was, so we knew it my doctor. [Yes! Finally!] David and I quickly left the room and put the phone on speaker so we could both hear. The conversation went something like this:

ME: Hello?
Dr. B: Is this Victoria?
ME: Yes it is.
Dr. B: Have I caught you at a bad time?
ME: Ummm, no, now is fine. [I had been watching a new episode of "The Flash" with my family, and we were getting ready to eat ice cream like we always do on Tuesday nights, but this phone call was definitely more important than that.]
Dr. B: Ok. Well, I told you I would call you with your biopsy results.
ME: Yes.
Dr. B: It is not invasive cancer, which is good. However, you do have sort of like "pre-cancer" cells.
ME: Is this what you would call DCIS? [DCIS = Ductal Carcinoma in Situ - a non-invasive form of cancer contained in the milk ducts].
Dr. B: Yes. That is what it is.
ME: Ok. I had that extensively on my other side, along with an invasive tumor. So, I know what that is.
Dr. B: I am at home right now and don't have your file. How long ago was that?
ME: Six years ago.
Dr. B: Ok. I will give your Oncologist a call tomorrow, and will look at your history a little more closely. Then, we will determine what to do next.
ME: Ok. That sounds fine.
Dr. B: You might be okay with just a lumpectomy, but I will know more after discussing with your Oncologist. But, we don't want to wait around too long on this, as it has a potential to change quickly.
ME: I understand.
Dr. B: Ok, then. I will talk to you soon.
ME: Thank you for your call.

We hung up the phone and David gave me a hug. We were not surprised by the news, but it was not what we were hoping for either. At least, there isn't any invasive cancer, so we are very grateful for that.

Unfortunately, I will be facing another surgery, and I am not worried or scared about it; but, to be honest, I just don't want to go through this again! Surgery is painful, and inconveniencing, especially during this time of year.

But . . . if that is the best option, then I will accept it. And, I will continue to TRUST in a loving God who will be with me through it all. He is my refuge and my strength.

I now have a consultation scheduled with my Oncologist for December 11th. We will know more about my case at that appointment.

TRUST #42: The Biopsy

It was a Stereotactic Core Needle Biopsy - my first one, and hopefully my last. Stereotactic, meaning the accurate positioning of a probe inside a specific part of the body by using three-dimensional images or diagrams. It is less invasive than scalpel surgery, and reportedly more accurate at finding the precise location for biopsies.

My husband (David) and our daughter (EL) went with me to my appointment. Dr. B recognized us from my previous surgeries with him. He is such a kind, caring man. He sat down in the room with us and asked, "Are you scared?"

I shook my head no.

He asked me why, and I said, "You did a good job on my other side, so I trust you." It was 6 years ago when Dr. B performed a lumpectomy on my right side, followed by a mastectomy, and 3 different port-related surgeries. I trusted him then, and I had no reason not to trust him this time around. Although, I was still praying for God to guide his hands, and that the results would be accurate.

I was taken to the procedure room and saw a table with a hole in it. I was instructed to lie down on my stomach and, after I was positioned correctly, they raised the table and worked underneath of me. I found this photo example on RadiologyInfo.org:

First, a few pictures were taken, similar to a mammogram but not as tight. Then, once they had their mark in sight, I was numbed up with Lidocaine. It apparently numbed me up on the outer part. However, when it came time for them to insert the biopsy device, I definitely felt that. They said I would hear a pop, and I sure did! It reminded me of a harpoon, and left me with a sizable ache. Shortly after that, they asked if I needed more Lidocaine, and I said yes.

As they began taking samples, I still felt some mild pain, but it was at least tolerable. I'm guessing they took around 5 or 6 samples. Then, they inserted a small titanium marker that will remain in place to keep track of where the biopsy had been taken.

I bled a lot when they were finished. It's possible the needle hit a vein when it went in. But the bleeding eventually slowed down enough to put Steri-strips and a band-aid on the puncture wound. After that, a couple more mammogram pictures were taken, and I was sent on my way. The whole thing was done in less than an hour.

I hugged David as he left for work, and gave him an extra squeeze to say, "Thankyou for coming."  I love that man. He took time out of his busy schedule to be with me for this. A friend of ours had agreed to come with me and to sit with EL while I was having the procedure; but David said he wanted to be there, so he came instead.

After the appointment I was okay to drive, so EL and I went shopping at Walmart. It helped keep my mind off of "things." Waiting for biopsy results is never easy.

I'm hoping and praying for good results, of course. But, no matter what they are, I will choose to keep TRUSTING in my Lord. I have been through too much already NOT to place my trust in Him. He is my God, and my rock.

If all goes as planned, I should have the results in the next day or two.

TRUST #41: Has My Cancer Returned???

My annual mammogram was on Wednesday, November 7th. It was done quickly and I left there without a concern. It has been 6 years since I was diagnosed with cancer on my right side and, so far, the left side had always been fine.

The next day, I got a phone call:

"The doctor saw a change in your pictures this year as compared to last year, so we need you to come back in for a few more pictures, so we can get a closer look."

I got off the phone and could tell my heart rate was up, but I had too many other things going on to dwell on it. So, my prayer was short and simple:

 "Not again, Lord. Please. I don't want to go through this again."

Tuesday afternoon (the 13th) was my next appointment. I expected to just have the pictures taken and then be sent home like always. But this time was different. They escorted me into a private room, said the pictures would be sent over to the doctor right away, and then someone would come in to talk to me about them.

My daughter, EL, and I sat in the room together. The room was quiet and comfortable. The only sounds I heard were of EL flipping through a magazine . . . as well as my thoughts going through my mind. I wasn't nervous, really. In fact, I was pretty calm, considering. I guess, more than anything, I just felt a little discouraged. I didn't want to be going through this, and I didn't want this "inconvenience" in my life.

When the nurse came in, she didn't beat around the bush. She said they saw small undetermined calcifications. They could be nothing, but they need to be checked out, especially considering my history and the fact that this is the first time they have shown up on that side.

So, I have been scheduled for a biopsy for this coming Tuesday. 

• Am I scared? Not really.
• Am I worried? Not exactly.
• Am I nervous? Maybe a little.
• Do I TRUST the Lord to be with me and help me and my family through this? Absolutely!

Two Years Cancer Free

This is a short post, but I just wanted to share about yesterday's checkup with my Oncologist. It was two years ago on June 19th that I finished my treatments. So, this was a 2-year post chemo checkup. My doctor had three words to say about this visit.

"CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GRADUATED!"

As he gave me a "high five" he explained that I no longer need to return to see him every 3 months. Instead, I will now be returning every 6 months. So, only twice per year now. That is SUCH. GREAT. NEWS. 

(Big smile!)

How My Mastectomy Has Affected Me

A "Get Well Soon" plant from my parents.
It was waiting for me when I arrived home after surgery.

It was December 11, 2012 - two years ago today. David and I woke up that chilly morning, left our children with my mom, and headed to the hospital where I had a life-altering surgery to remove my right breast. I honestly don't remember much of that day, and I wish I had written out my thoughts on it, but I guess I didn't feel the need to write about it at that time. Or, maybe I just didn't want to face it, the idea of losing a breast.

As I think back now, I do remember I had a mixture of feelings that are hard to put into words. For the most part, I was just thinking about what was best for my health. I wanted the cancer out, and losing a breast didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. But, I also remember being very concerned about what my husband would think. Of course, he told me he was only concerned about my health, but I still wondered how he would handle the loss. He, in turn, was wondering how I would handle the loss.

To be honest, there was an adjustment period, and I would be lying if I said it hasn't affected me. After all, the surgery has changed the appearance of my body, there's no doubt about that! And, yes, there were times when it made me feel like less of a woman, I will admit it. But, along with the adjustment process, I have also experienced some positive changes. Internal rather than external. Let me share with you what I've discovered since my surgery:

• It has caused me to try and eat healthier and to exercise. I'm still struggling with this, but I'm trying.
• It allowed me to feel the love of others which was poured out on me and my family during the recovery process. 
• It has given me insight into the needs of those who are recovering from surgery or illness. 
• It has caused me to sympathize more with others who have battled, or are currently battling cancer of any kind.
• It has helped give me more confidence in who I am as a person.
• It has made me realize there are more important things in life than the loss of a body part. 
• It has helped me to feel closer to my husband, who has never said anything negative about the way I look. In fact, he still says I am beautiful.
• It has made me re-evaluate my life and focus on the the truly important things. 
• It has made me stronger in my walk with the Lord.

So, it's all good! I honestly have no regrets. I know I do not have a perfect body. (That would be the case even without having a mastectomy!) But, I am comforted in knowing my God is continually working in me and, hopefully, through me, until that day when I will be made perfect in heaven.


Philippians 3:12-14 - Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

ANOTHER GOOD CHECKUP - Anything is Possible With God

I had another checkup today with my Oncologist, and everything is going well! My energy level is mostly back to normal, my bloodwork was good, and I am tolerating the Tamoxifen well. The doctor was happy to see I had NO swelling in my left arm where the arm port was placed, and where a blood clot had previously developed. He told us today that he was inwardly worried about that arm, and was afraid the swelling would not go down. But, it did, praise the Lord. Anything is possible with God! 

Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (NIV)

My next checkup is in 3 months. I will continue going back every 3 months until it has been 2 years post chemo. Then, it will change to every 6 months.

The Progression of My Hair

It was one year ago today that I finished a 6-month chemo treatment. Wow. Its hard to believe its been a year already since I finished!

If you remember, I lost all my hair with the treatments and, since then, it has grown back. It's fun to look back on the progression of my hair growth. Check out these pictures...

February 7, 2013
Hair started falling out

June 5, 2013
Getting close to finishing treatments
Completely bald



July 2013
Fuzzy Hair coming in



August 2013



November 1, 2013



December 11, 2013



January 12, 2014



February 2, 2014
 

March 30, 2014



 

June 13, 2014
I have bangs!

 

I Was Scared My Cancer Had Returned

One of the biggest fears of someone who has battled cancer is the return of that cancer.

Well, last week on Thursday, I was scared...

I had just gone to bed, and rubbed my hand against my chest on the side where I had a mastectomy. I noticed a lump, and I wasn't just nervous, I was scared!

It was late at night. My husband had just gone to sleep. He was on call with the ambulance, so I didn't want to wake him, but the tears started to flow. Please, God, NO! This can't be happening again.

I couldn't go to sleep, so I clicked onto Facebook using my Kindle Fire. I browsed the comments from my friends, trying to get my mind off of it, but couldn't stop thinking about the worst-case scenario.

A dear friend of mine sent me a message at 11:30 p.m., and we had a short chat:

FRIEND:  I'm heading to bed but wanted to say "Hey" and see how you are doing. :)

ME:  Hi. Funny you should ask. Pray for me. 

FRIEND:  I will. Do you want to talk?

ME:  I can't. Am in bed next to Dave. He's asleep. I'm nervous, [Friend]. No, I'm scared. I can't tell for sure, but I think I feel a lump.

FRIEND:  (11:45 p.m.) Oh that would be scary. I will pray fervently that it is not! If you need comforted, wake him but I will pray and believe that it is not! Dear Lord, thank you for all you've done in Vicky's life and thank you for her health. Please Lord, I ask that this not be a lump and nothing to be concerned about. Father, comfort Vicky and help her to rest and be at peace knowing you'll take care of her. Make it nothing Lord! In your precious name, Amen!

ME:  (11:50 p.m.) Thanks. I'm feeling calmer now. I see my doc on Wednesday for a checkup.

FRIEND:  Good! I'm believing it's not that! Love to you friend. Sleep well.

ME:  You, too.

Thanks to the prayers of my friend, I was much calmer after that, and was able to get some sleep.

The next morning....

ME:  I called my doctor's office this morning and talked to a nurse there. She said it is possible there is scar tissue growing, since it is around the area where I had the mastectomy. So, that's what I'm hoping for. I can't get in to see the doc before Wednesday, so I will just have to wait. Thanks for reaching out last night. Even though you had no idea there was a problem, God knew. I was in tears.

FRIEND:   God is amazing like that. I think of you often, but just at that moment wanted to let you know I was. God is good. I'm believing it's scar tissue and will keep praying you have peace as you wait.

I also told 3 other friends, so they could be praying, but did not want to make it public to everyone else just yet.

Later that night, I came across a familiar verse. I believe the Lord drew me to read this again to help bring even more peace:
 

Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Through the prayers of others, and through direct encouragement from the Lord, I was no longer afraid, but was at peace knowing God was in control.

Today (Wednesday), I had my checkup with my Oncologist. Everything is going well, praise the Lord. The doc confirmed that the lump I felt is nothing to be concerned about.

I am so thankful for the presence of the Lord in my life, and for good Christian friends who care. My outlook on life would be so much different without them. 

 

 

4 Months Post Chemo - All is Well

Where are we now?

1.  Last month - I didn't post about this - but I went in for my yearly mammogram. It was my first one post diagnosis of breast cancer. Quite honestly, I was nervous about getting it done, but knew it was necessary. So, I went. A few days later, I received a pink slip in the mail. A beautiful, wonderful, pink slip with the words, "We are pleased to inform you that the results of your breast imaging procedure are normal." (BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!)

2.  Last week, I had another Doppler done to check the status of the small blood clot in my jugular vein. The technician said she still saw a small sliver, but it was not causing any problems with blood flow, and there were no new clots to be seen. (THANK YOU, LORD!)

3.  Today, I had a follow-up appointment with my Oncologist. All my bloodwork is within normal range... AND... he cleared me from taking Xarelto, the blood thinner I was taking in order to combat the blood clots. He said the sliver they are seeing looks like a shadow that is only there because there WAS a blood clot. It is not causing a blockage of any kind and is no longer of any major concern. (PRAISE GOD!)

Where do we go from here?

1.  I will continue to take Tamoxifen, the med that blocks estrogen. So far, it seems to be working well for me. I am having the expected hot flashes and other symptoms that confirm it is working. Unfortunately, one of the negative side effects is joint pain. It feels like arthritis, and is at its worst in the morning. But, after getting busy and moving around, the pain subsides. It is not bad enough for me to need any pain killers, so we will continue with the Tamoxifen. I much prefer a little joint pain over the alternative.

2.  We will keep an eye on my neck and arm for any new pain or swelling. If any occurs, I am to call my doctor's office ASAP, as this could be a sign of a clot forming again. Hopefully, that will not happen.

3.  If all goes as planned, I do not need to return for another check-up until 3 months from now. Thankfully, I'm no longer being seen on a weekly, or even a monthly, basis anymore.

All is well.

Breast Cancer Awareness - Guest Blogger Jen Vandermyde

Please don't think breast cancer won't happen to you just because you are young, or because you don't have a family history of it. I was 43 when I was diagnosed (which I consider to be fairly young), and I don't have any known history of it in my family. My grandmother had a lump removed when she was young, but we are not certain what the diagnosis was. So, when my lump was removed, it was tested for any possible genetic links (like the BRCA gene) and it turned up negative.

I have a friend, Jen, whose history is similar to mine, but she was even younger than me when she was diagnosed. She was 37.

And, MEN, you are not exempt from getting it either! It is more rare in men, but it does happen. Check out this article from The American Cancer Society:  WHAT IS BREAST CANCER IN MEN?

So, in light of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I want to share what my friend, Jen, posted recently on her blog TO SOAR ON EAGLE WINGS. I hope it encourages all who are reading this to keep a watchful eye on yourselves. Early detection is a key to survival.

Thanks for allowing me to share this, Jen...

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. It’s kind of hard to not know that with all the pink around isn’t it? And I’ll admit that I’m not a big one for huge advertising promotions. So often the original good cause gets lost in all the rush to brand every product to show that the companies care. I’m not even really a pink-loving girl. But I do feel strongly that young women – all women - should take this disease seriously. And because of that I thought I’d write a little bit about it this month.

I went to my ob/gyn yesterday to discuss my upcoming surgery. I’ll write more on that later when I have it all figured out. While I was there though, she told me that she uses my case with her young patients. She of course does not use my name, and I’m glad she tells other women what has happened to me. You see I didn’t fit into a high-risk category. I don’t have anyone in my family who has had breast cancer except for a great aunt and my cousin. It is true that my cousin was also young when she got breast cancer but both of us have had genetic testing and both of us do not carry the BRCA gene. That means that with today’s knowledge of breast cancer our cancers are not known to be caused by a faulty gene that we inherited. I think a lot of women think that the genetic factor is bigger than it is. I know I hid behind that fact. I thought that the young women that got cancer were mostly women that had huge family histories of the disease so they would know to be concerned. But that simply is not true.

I also used some of the research findings to justify why I didn’t need to worry about breast cancer. Research has shown that having your first baby before 30 and breastfeeding helps with your risk. I had both of those areas covered. According to studies I should have been in an average risk group for breast cancer. But I still got it. At the age of 37.

I’m not saying this to scare everyone. I do not believe that God wants us to live our lives in a state of constant fear that something bad might happen. He tells us to trust Him and not to worry. We know that if we are His children then nothing can happen to us that He does not allow. I fully believe all this is true.

No, the reason I tell you about my story is to remind you that even though what happened to me is rare it can happen –only 5-7 percent of women that get breast cancer are under the age of 40. I don’t want you to be fearful of it. But I do want you to be aware. I had had a baseline mammogram done at age 35. It did not show anything of concern. I also went yearly to my doctor. But I was not doing monthly self checks. And I wish that I had been. I am now for sure! I do not still beat myself up about it though. God in His wonderful mercy allowed me to find my cancer anyway. I found it while putting on my bra. 

I just want to encourage all of you women to make sure that you are taking care of yourself in this regard. Go get that first mammogram that you have been putting off. It won’t be your favorite part of the day, but it isn’t the end of the world either. Do those self checks. Make sure you are getting a yearly physical. Do your part and then trust God with the rest. Trust Him that He loves you more than anyone else does. Trust Him that He will help you through anything that might come your way!

Ideas to Encourage a Cancer Patient

How do you encourage someone who is undergoing treatments for cancer? I can't speak for everyone, as we are all different, and what encourages one person may not be the best idea for someone else. But, I want to at least share some of the things that encouraged ME when I took foot on my cancer journey. That way, if you are looking for ways to bless someone else diagnosed with cancer (or for anyone who is experiencing a long-term illness of some sort), maybe this will help spark some ideas...

ENCOURAGING CARDS - Sending a card is quick and easy. I received many cards in the mail, and it brought great encouragement to know someone was thinking of me and praying for me. Some cards had inspirational verses or poems in them, and some were humorous or light-hearted. They all have a special place in my heart.

NOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT - If you don't send a card, at least consider sending a note in an e-mail, a text message, or on Facebook. These are not always as personal as a card in the mail, but can still bring encouragement when its needed.

MEALS - I wrote a post awhile back about BLESSING OTHERS THROUGH MEAL MINISTRIES. Meals of any kind (homemade and hot, frozen, or gift cards to local fast-food restaurants) were a great help to me and my family when I wasn't feeling well.

FLOWERS - Several times, I received some pretty flowers or a nice green plant to help bring some color and cheer to the room. Flowers are always a nice way to say you care.

CHILDCARE - I could not have made it without the support of friends and family who took care of the kids on treatment days or during doctor's appointments.

REMEMBERING THE KIDS - A friend sent the kids a box of DVD's and activity books especially for them, to help keep them occupied on days when I was laying on the couch. It was so sweet of her to think of them, and made them feel special too.

THINKING OF YOU GIFTS - These can be anything, but here are some of the things that were a blessing to me:

1.  Reading material - Magazines, Devotional books, and other books that brought encouragement.

2.  Cozy blankets, afghans, or quilts - I received several, and most of them were homemade, but a store-bought one is nice too.

3.  Slippers/slipper socks to keep my feet warm.

4.  Scarves and hats to keep my head covered after losing my hair.

5.  Crossword puzzle books

6.  DVD's of good movies or TV shows to watch.

7.  Cookies and/or other snacks. I loved getting things like muffins, quick breads, and oatmeal cookies that could be eaten for a quick breakfast or for snacks.

8.  A "goodie bag" or box of several needed items such as gum, mints, sour candy, tissues, bath salts, lotion, hand sanitizer, pen and journal, water bottle, puzzle books, etc.

PERSONAL CONTACT - As long as I wasn't feeling too sick, a visit from a friend was a nice change of pace. Even just stopping by for a 10-minute chat helped to lighten my mood.

PRAYER - If you can't do any of the above, you CAN commit to praying for someone. I had several who said they were praying for me and my family daily. I know these prayers helped to get us through the difficult days.

Isaiah 35:3 - Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

One Year Ago, I Began My Cancer Journey

One year ago on September 12th, I found a lump that changed my life forever. And, it was one year ago today (September 14th) that I had a mammogram to get a picture of that lump. Wow, how time flies. This past year has been an incredible journey - one that I never really thought I would be going through, at least not in my early forties. I did not enjoy this path I was put on, but I did find joy in the journey because I have chosen to allow God to work in and through me through it all. Back in 2002, my dad (Dr. James L. McIntosh) preached a sermon on this very thing. I took notes on the sermon without realizing just how relevant it would be to me some day. Here is  a quick summary of the message...

~*~*~*~*~

Luke 22:31-32 "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded [permission] to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

Have you ever been "sifted," as in Luke 22:31? (To be sifted means to be put through a challenge). Every Christian goes through "stuff" in their lives. At times we handle it correctly and at times we "drop the ball." When God sifts us, it is a time of change that helps us to grown closer to Him. Therefore, as James 1:2 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials."

There are 3 men in the Bible we will focus on who were sifted. The desired result of their sifting was:

• For them to be broken and empty before God.
• To bring about a time of change in order to draw them closer to God.
• To help them prove their loyalty to Christ.
• To teach them to say "no" to the urges of the flesh.
• To teach them to say "no" to pride and "self-esteem." (We need to focus on God rather than ourselves. A better term would be to have "God-esteem.")
• To help them be better able to say "yes" to the longing for God which He has placed in our soul.

What types of things does God use to bring about the changes He deems best?

The three men we will focus on are:
(1) Job
(2) Paul
(3) Simon/Peter

JOB -- He was an upright and blameless man (Job 1:1 & 8). He knew the difference between good and evil. He didn't try to combine the two, like many of us do in our lives. Instead, he turned from evil. In Job 1:5, he even interceded for his children. When Satan approached God (Job 1:6-12), God brought up the subject of Job. Satan said Job was so loyal because he was "coddled." He had everything he ever wanted. So, God gave Satan permission to test Job. During the sifting process, Job mourned but he still worshiped God (Job 1:20-22). Instead of saying, "Why me?" he fell on his face and worshiped in the trial.

PAUL -- 2 Corinthians 12:1-10, Paul had an encounter with God and was changed dramatically for the better. He became a very Godly man, walking close to the Lord and willing to be persecuted for Christ. He was used of the Lord in innumerable ways. However, he was still given a "thorn" in his flesh in order to keep him humble. We don't know what the "thorn" was. It could have been a physical problem, a spiritual problem, a battle with a sin such as lustful thoughts, or there's even speculation that it could have been the mere fact that Paul was being persecuted and mocked and he had a hard time dealing with it at times. It's not important for us to know what the "thorn" represented. All we know is that Paul asked God to take the thorn from him at three different times, and God said "no." So, Paul learned to accept the Lord's decision and to be content to suffer for Christ. The thorn shows that Paul was not perfect. He was human. But, despite his weaknesses, he was still highly used of God. We don't have to be perfect in order to be in ministry or be used by God. If that's what we are waiting for, then we will never serve the Lord the way He intended us to. 

PETER -- Luke 22:21-32, 54-62, Satan was allowed to sift Peter (vs. 31). He wanted Peter to prove his loyalty to Christ and expected him to fail. In verse 32, Jesus did not tell Peter to wage a campaign against the enemy. Instead, He prayed for Peter. He prayed that Peter would pass the test and then be able to strengthen his brothers. Peter didn't think he would ever deny knowing Christ. But, 1 Corinthians 10:12 says, "let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall." Jesus knew that Peter would fail this test, but he allowed Peter to go through it because He knew it would strengthen him in the long run and he could be an encouragement to others.

In Luke 22:62, Peter understood what had happened and how he had failed. Peter is now broken and sifted, and usable for the Lord. There are times that we need to be broken so we are less likely to fall. Peter repented of his sin as he realized he can not do things under his own strength.

~*~*~*~*~

Through MY CANCER JOURNEY, I also have been "sifted."

• I have become  broken and empty before my Lord.
• A change has been brought about that has drawn me closer to Him.
• It has helped me to prove my loyalty to Christ.
• It has taught me to say "no" to my fleshly desires, and focus on what God wants instead.

The journey is not over, and God is not finished with me yet. But, as I continue, I feel more confident in knowing that God causes ALL things to work together for good, to those who love HIM.