BOOK REVIEW: Upside-Down Prayers for Parents

Lisa T. Bergren is a well-known author of many books. I have enjoyed her children's books, so decided to choose this new one she wrote for parents called Upside-Down Prayers for Parents.

The book includes 31 devotions to help parents entrust their children to God’s love and care, in way that you would not normally expect. Each devotion has a Scripture verse, thoughts from the author about a specific area to pray about for children, a suggested prayer, and an area to answer a question or reflect on what you have learned. It also includes a discussion starter to use with your children such as, in devotion #11 which speaks about loneliness and finding intimacy with the Lord, "Have you ever been lonely?" and "How do you see God around you?"

The devotions are good and thought-provoking. They are not too long and give good insights to various ways we need to have a deeper trust in the Lord. However, on a scale of 1-5 (5 being excellent), I would only give this book a 3. The reason is because I don’t care for the way the book words its introductory titles/prayers (at the beginning of each chapter). For example:

• I pray you’ll get caught doing things wrong - and find the good and true path.
• I pray you’ll fail in things that don’t matter - and learn to seek what matters to God.
• I pray you’ll get lost - and discover you'll find the Compass within...
• I pray you’ll experience unanswered prayers - and you'll find a deeper trust in Him.
• I pray you’ll know fear - and find courage in living with God beside you.

While I understand where the author is coming from, I don’t agree with praying for my children (or anyone) to have "bad" things happen to them. It is a fact that things WILL happen to them without our need to specifically pray for them that way. So, instead, I would say:

• WHEN you do things wrong, I pray you will get caught.
• WHEN you fail...
• WHEN you get lost...
• WHEN you experience unanswered prayers...
• WHEN you are fearful...

I would not say to forego this book all-together, as it does have a lot of good thoughts. But, just wanted to mention this one area I didn’t agree with. If anything, it wouldn't hurt to pick it up just for the conversation starters to have with your children.

NOTE: I received this book free of charge from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for review purposes. The opinions expressed are my own.

Set to be released on February 19th.

　

　

20 Songs That Encourage Me

Here is a list of 20 various songs (in no particular order) that you can watch on You Tube. These have been a great encouragement to me in the past and present. I wanted to share them with you. On the days when you are weary or discouraged, take some time to watch one, two, or several of these (or, if you don't like these, pick a few of your own favorites). It is amazing how much music can say just what you are feeling, and can be such a blessing to your spirit and/or a prayer from you to the Lord...

 

 

 

Laura Story – BLESSINGS

 

Jason Crabb – LET MERCY HOLD YOU

 

Matt Redmond – YOU NEVER LET GO

 

Casting Crowns – PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM

 

Casting Crowns – WHO AM I

 

Casting Crowns – I KNOW YOU'RE THERE

 

Casting Crowns – TIS SO SWEET TO TRUST IN JESUS

 

Mercy Me – WORD OF GOD SPEAK

 

Mercy Me – BRING THE RAIN

 

Selah – PRESS ON

 

Selah – I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR

 

Selah - THROUGH IT ALL

 

Selah – GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS

 

Selah – I BLESS YOUR NAME

 

Selah - YOU ARE MY HIDING PLACE

 

Rich Mullins – AWESOME GOD

 

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

 

Gaither Vocal Band – HIDE THOU ME

 

The Booth Brothers - LOOK FOR ME AT JESUS' FEET

 

Keith & Kristyn Getty - IN CHRIST ALONE

 

My Cancer Journey - Part 11: Losing My Hair

A few weeks ago, before my first chemo treatment, I decided to get my hair cut a lot shorter than usual. I wanted to start getting used to the fact that some changes were about to take place, and I would most likely lose my hair. It was a hard day for me, as I did not like the new look. I think it was actually harder for me to get the short haircut than it was for me to have the mastectomy! I guess its because hair is such an identifying factor in women. I also knew my husband prefers my hair to be longer, so it was just very difficult all around. But, David was great with me and told me it did not look horrible in the way I perceived it to be. He was so comforting and supportive, and he reassured me that this would only be a temporary thing. I thank God for a husband who loves me, and has chosen to stick by me for better or worse, in sickness and in health.  

After my first chemo treatment, I was told, if my hair is going to fall out, it would happen within 2-3 weeks. Several friends who have been through this said their scalp began to feel really sore before their hair fell out and, a couple of days ago, I noticed mine getting really sore to the touch. I knew this was a sign that my hair was loosening up. 

In today's mail, I received a hat I had ordered, so I went to the bathroom to try it on. While doing so, I noticed several strands of hair falling out. I, then, pulled lightly on my hair and ended up with quite a few strands between my fingers. It had begun. I called my 10-year-old son into the room because I figured he would be interested in seeing it. He was sympathetic for me, yet very curious. I, then, allowed him to help me gently pull the hair out, and we ended up with a large pile. Its not completely gone yet, but is very very thin. I know it won't take long for the rest to come out.

Life is certainly interesting, but I continue to thank the Lord for his presence in my life. Because of Him, and because of the support of my family, I am doing okay with the hair loss. I know its all just part of the process.

By the way, Chemo session #2 did not happen this week as planned. The doctor sees patients before each chemo session to see how they are doing and, after seeing me on Tuesday, he decided it would be best to postpone treatment for another week. I am still recovering from a cold/sinus infection, and he didn't want to take the chance of the chemo making things worse. But, since I was there, and since he said I looked a bit dehydrated, I was given a bag of fluids before being sent home. I will go back again next Tuesday for the treatment.

My Cancer Journey - Part 10: First Chemo Treatment

On January 22^nd, I had minor surgery to install a POWER PORT that sits under the left collar bone. The port is beneficial so that I won’t end up getting repeated vein sticks during chemo treatments, and also so the drugs they use will not burn my skin.

After the surgery, I had my first treatment that same day. I was still a bit groggy from surgery, so I slept through most the treatment, but all went well. One down and 15 more to go! (NOTE: The first 4 treatments are spaced every 2 weeks apart. Then, after a short break, there will be a change in medication and I will have a treatments once per week for 12 weeks. If all goes well, I will be finished by the end of July.) The only major drawback was that my immune system was weakened and I ended up with a terrible head cold that I couldn't shake, which then turned into a sinus infection.

My second treatment is coming up this Tuesday, as long as I'm well enough.

So, as you can see, this "journey" is far from over but, since I have you caught up on what has happened this far, I am done posting on a daily basis for now. As I am able, I will post updates on how things are going. In the meantime, I ask for your prayers for me and for my family.

Let me leave you with this quote from Cynthia Heald, the author of my favorite devotional "Becoming a Woman Who Walks with God." 

"The Scriptures do not guarantee that 'all will be well' according to our human perspective. They do, however, promise that God will work all things for our good. As we learn to trust Him 'no matter what,' He develops within us a deeply rooted confidence in Him. This confidence enables us to lean on HIS understanding and HIS ways of working in our lives."

My Cancer Journey - Part 9: Why Me??

Humanly speaking, I want to ask why this has happened to me. I've been a mostly "healthy" person for most of my life. I try to eat well, take my vitamins, maintain a healthy weight, and exercise (even if that exercise only consists of walking around the block or doing housework). I also try to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God. So, from a human standpoint, it doesn’t make much sense. I have two children and a husband to take care of. One of our children has autism, and the other has had some "special needs" of his own to contend with. My husband has a heart condition and is already under enough stress without him needing to take care of me and the rest of the family. So, why? Why would God allow this to happen to ME? Quite honestly, it has been hard to come to grips with that at times.

After my mastectomy surgery, I received several cards in the mail. I have kept the cards to look at every once in awhile because of the encouragement they bring. It is nice to be reminded that people care; and many of the messages in them have spoken to me, at various times, as messages coming directly from the Lord.

One card, in particular, was made by DaySpring and, on the back, it had a section of a Tommy Walker worship song typed out. The name of the song is LORD I RUN TO YOU. I looked it up on You Tube and, as I paid attention to the lyrics, these words in the song caught my attention:

Lord, You said we’d face

trouble pain and fears

but to be of good cheer

to be of good cheer

for You have overcome

overcome the world

I recognized these words as being part of a Bible verse:

John 16:33 - "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (NKJV) 

Right there was the answer to my "Why?" Question. It is simple, really: In the world you will have tribulation. Its not a MAYBE you will have trials; its not a MAYBE you will experience difficulties; it’s a DEFINITE statement: In the world you WILL have tribulation! It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, or what you do. NONE of us are exempt from hardship. One person’s hardship may be work related, another has lost a family member or close friend, others are dealing with financial difficulties, others are having marriage problems, some are caretakers of those with disabilities, and many more are in pain and/or are dealing with chronic illness. The list goes on. The fact of the matter is that hardship is IN THIS WORLD, and we are living IN THIS WORLD.

BUT, there is hope....

The verse doesn’t stop there. It says, to BE OF GOOD CHEER (or in the New American Standard version, it says TAKE COURAGE). Why? Because our Savior, Jesus Christ, has OVERCOME THE WORLD!

What exactly does that mean for us? It means the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ gives us hope in this world of trouble. It means we may have struggles for awhile, but they won’t last forever. It means, those who believe in and trust in Him for their salvation will one day live eternally with our heavenly Father and will no longer be experiencing any sickness, pain, or death. It means the Lord LOVES us with unfailing love, and HE HAS NOT FORSAKEN US. 

He never forsakes those who love Him. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 - The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. 

Am I still scared at times? Yes. Do I still get discouraged? Yes. But, I know, without a doubt, the Lord is there for me and my family as we go through this. And, with the continued support of family and friends, I believe we can make it through this. It won’t be easy, but we will make it.

Thank You, Lord.

My Cancer Journey - Part 8: Further Treatments Needed

The mastectomy surgery on December 11th went as expected, and, one week later, we saw the surgeon for follow-up. He removed my drain tube and the dressing, causing much more comfort for me at that time; but, more important, was the pathology report, which revealed clear lymph nodes! Oh, what wonderful words to hear. However, when David said to the surgeon that clear lymph nodes meant no further treatments, the surgeon said, "No, I’m sorry, but I can’t guarantee that." He wanted us to discuss it with our Oncologist in January. But, with all the clear reports, we assumed the only treatment needed would be to start taking a medication that blocks the estrogen in my body and would keep any new cancer cells from growing.

Our assumptions were wrong...

David and I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting to hear his recommendation for further treatments. He entered the room with a friendly greeting, then moved directly to the conversation of my cancer. He spent a lot of time sitting and talking with us, explaining my situation. He said the cancer is Stage 2 (So, thankfully, we caught it early, removed it surgically, and it had not spread to other organs.) However, it seems the surgery was not enough to give us the best possible chances for no recurrence. The doctor explained that there was a test done on my tumor called Ki-67 which determines the aggressiveness of it, and how likely it is to return. Anything above 20% is considered high, and my numbers came in at 99%. This means, without additional treatment, there is a very high chance of recurrence within the next 2 years. He then said, his recommendation is for chemotherapy, in order to kill any remaining cancer cells.

The utterance of the word "chemo" produced a surge of adrenaline in me, and my heart began to pound. That was the one word I was hoping not to hear. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted all of this to just be a bad dream and I would wake up and everything would be normal again. But, as my husband placed his arm around me for comfort, I was reminded of how much I love him and our children. I didn’t like hearing this news but I realized I only want what is best for a full and complete recovery. The Lord had brought us to a good doctor with a lot of experience, so I chose to trust his wisdom, and to trust in a God who has already gone before us. So, with that said, another minor surgery was scheduled to have a power port installed, followed by the beginning of 6 months of chemo treatment.

In my humanness, I have often asked, WHY has all of this been happening to me?? And, one day, as I tried to make sense of it all, I read one of the cards a friend sent to me for encouragement. It helped put some things in perspective, and I’ll talk more about that in my next post.

Life has certainly been interesting for the past 4 months, and I guess it will never be the same from here on out. But, God is faithful, and always will be...

LINKED UP WITH

Missional Women: Faith Filled Friday

My Cancer Journey - Part 7: The “What if...” Trail

For the next 5 days, we WAITED to hear the results of the Radiology tests. It all became so surreal to us – just so hard to believe all this was happening. On most days, I was at peace, knowing the Lord is in control of my life, and praying that HE be glorified through all of this. After all, this life is not really about ME, its about what I can and should be doing for HIM. I believed this journey could have been allowed so that I could help make a difference in someone else’s life, and I was often drawn to remember Ephesians 2:10, which says:

For we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (NASB) 

But... I am human and do have my moments when my thought processes take a negative turn. I  have gone down the "What if…" trail and asked things like:

• What will it be like if I have to lose both of my breasts?
• What will happen if the cancer has spread to other organs?
• What will my husband and kids do if I don’t live through this?

In those moments, I was trying to process some difficult emotions, not wanting my family or myself  to go down this difficult road. This can't be the road you have chosen for us, Lord. But, as I searched my soul and prayed for peace, I realized those thoughts came from a lack of trust for our future. It all boiled down to the fact that I wanted to be the one in control of this situation. I wanted the choice for our future to be mine and not the Lord’s. Could I really trust God to be in control and to take care of me and my family - no matter what the outcome was to be? Quite honestly, I still struggle with that one. I often have to remind myself not to dwell on the negative thoughts that come alongside the "What if..." trail; but to, instead, think only on what is true and lovely, and pure.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.

 

On my "good" days of conquering these fears, there's no way I can take the credit. I believe, whole-heartedly, in the prayers of family and friends. I know I could not have made it through even this far without their love, prayers, encouragement, and support. If there is one thing I want to reinterate on this blog, it is to please remember to ENCOURAGE one another. We are all going through so much, and encouraging one another is VITAL to our survial in this darkening world...

 

1 Thessalonians 5:11 - Therefore encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

...But, to get back to the "Journey," the Oncologist finally called on Wednesday, December 5^th and said ALL of the Radiology tests came back GOOD. Praise the Lord the cancer had not spread to bones or other organs, AND I would only need to lose the right side! We still did not know whether or not the lymph nodes were affected, and would not know that until after the mastectomy; but the tests did not show them to be enlarged, so that was a good sign.

Things happened quickly from there, as we went to see the surgeon again that following Friday, and the surgery was scheduled for Tuesday, December 11^th.

 

My Cancer Journey - Part 6: The Oncology Consultation & A Day of Tests

We saw the Oncologist on November 21st. It was a LONG wait in the waiting room and exam room before he finally saw us. But, he took his time with us, looking over the pathology reports and explaining that there were two types of cancer. First, there was the extensive DCIS (which is non-invasive cancer, but was aggressive; and, if not taken care of, would turn into invasive cancer), and the already invasive tumor (which was a Grade 3 out of 3 - highly aggressive). He said, because of the threatening conditions of this cancer, he felt there was no other option than to recommend at least a single-sided mastectomy. Wow... not what we wanted to hear, but we knew he was right.

The idea of losing a breast comes with a wide array of emotions, thoughts, and opinions - not just from ME, but from others as well. The only opinion that really mattered to me was that of myself and my husband and, in the end, our main concern was to just get the cancer OUT so it doesn't spread any further. My family is more important to me than any part of my body. I was still hoping and praying I would not need to lose BOTH sides but, if that was the solution, then so be it.

The doctor ordered an MRI, CT, and Bone Scan to be done on November 30^th. These tests were to give us more information before the mastectomy took place. He said, they would show if the cancer had spread to any other organs or bones, or to the other breast. We were told that, as long as the cancer had not spread, there was a good chance I would not need to have any other treatments. So, that is what we were hoping for! 

November 30^th was the long day of testing, but everything went fairly well. Here’s a brief rundown of the day:

• Was injected with radioactive stuff at 7:30 a.m. to get ready for the Bone Scan 4 hours later. Also had to drink a cup of nasty grape juice, then wait an hour to have the CT.
• CT was the first test done. Had to drink more juice junk, and was also injected with a contrast. The CT itself was painless.
• Went shopping for 2 hours, then came back to do the Bone Scan at 11:30. Seeing images of the bones made me nervous and made me wonder why some spots were brighter than others.
• After Bone Scan came the MRI. That one took the longest. This one also had a contrast they injected me with. I had to lay face down for 40 minutes in a noisy tube.
• Went to lunch at Arby’s, then picked up the kids at a friend’s house. Got home around 3:30.
• The drink they gave me caused loose stools, but that was the only side effect, other than fatigue the next day.
• More waiting for test results.
• More clinging tightly to God’s hand.
• The "What if..." questions were beginning to surface.

Check back tomorrow to read about the
"What if..." Trail.

My Cancer Journey - Part 5: The Lumpectomy & Unexpected Results

Things went well on the day of the Lumpectomy. I didn’t know what to expect, as the only other surgery in my lifetime had been a tonsilectomy at the age of 9. So, I was a bit nervous on the outset; but, the staff was very good at explaining the process and putting me more at ease.

It all took a bit longer than expected, but still pretty smooth all-together. The hardest part for me was the first procedure I had to endure. Before the surgery, I had to go to Radiology and have my right breast compressed in a mammogram machine for about an hour while they inserted 2 guideline wires for the surgeon. The insertion of the wires themselves were not too bad because they numbed me for that. But, the compression part was extremely painful, and I was in tears. After a little while, I sort of adjusted to the pain. Then, the numbing for the wire insertion helped also. But, it was still a very uncomfortable procedure. I sure was glad when that was over!

For the surgery, I was completely "knocked out" and don't remember a thing after being rolled down the hall. I woke up to some pain of about 4-5 on the scale of 10, but nothing that the pain meds didn't help. They made an incision around the areola, then went up under the skin to cut out the cysts and the surrounding tissue that had the calcifications. I was very sore and swollen, but not in major pain. I was told to wear a compression bra for at least a week, and was not allowed to lift more than 10 lbs.

The WAITING began again as we then waited for more results and were told we would have them in a few days time (Remember, the day of the surgery was Tuesday, November 6th). However, the weekend came and went and we did not hear anything. We figured no news was good news, and was expecting they would wait to talk with us at the follow-up appointment on the 14^th.

But.... while I was at an Avon party on the evening of the 13^th, the surgeon himself called and talked to my husband about the results. He wanted to sort of give us a "heads up" about what we would be discussing at the appointment the next day, and the news was not encouraging. When I arrived home from the party, David took me to our room to reveal the lump had a little bit of everything in it: fibrous tissue, cysts, extensive DCIS (the non-invasive cancer cells), as well as some INVASIVE cancer. It was a definite shock, to say the least, as we were only expecting maybe some mild-moderate DCIS. The reason it took so long to get the results is because the doctor was shocked by them also and had them sent out a couple more times for testing, just to be sure of what it was.

The surgeon spent a good amount of time with us at the appointment the next day, explaining what we were looking at. The invasive cancer was about 2 cm in size, and it did not show up on mammograms, etc. That is why it was a surprise to him. He said (and here’s the Lord’s intervention I was talking about in PART 3 of this journey) he could have very easily missed the invasive cancer if he had done the needle biopsy, since he did not see it on the mammogram. The pathology report said the tumor was grade 3 out of 3 and was Estrogen Receptor Positive (ER+). He believed he got all of "the bad stuff" out, but that did not mean there wasn’t still cancer somewhere else in the body, including the lymph nodes. We also still had the DCIS interspersed throughout the tissue that he didn’t believe was all gone, due to the margins of the removed tissue not being clean and clear within a certain distance.

So... we were referred to an Oncologist - one who works closely with our surgeon and is also very good and thorough. We would find out what the next step was to be while seeing him on November 21^st.

After this visit, we were shocked and somewhat in denial as we tried to process it all, but continued to trust in the Lord for guidance and strength. We knew He was still there holding our hands. We just weren't sure which direction he was taking us in yet.

My Cancer Diagnosis - Part 4: The Surgeon’s Consultation

October 1^st finally came and we consulted with the surgeon. He was a very nice man with a gentle spirit, and a lot of experience. We liked him immediately, and found out later he is a Christian, which was a super huge bonus! Thank you, Lord, for your intervention! He looked over the x-rays, then took his time with us explaining what he saw. He said there were two lesions connected to each other that he was pretty sure were just cysts. He was not concerned about those. But, what he was more concerned about was the calcifications surrounding the cysts. He said they could be something called DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ). Basically, it is a non-invasive type of cancer that remains only in the milk ducts. He said it was not something to leave alone, but not really life-threatening either.

He originally said he wanted to do a core needle biopsy, as that is usually the standard protocol. But, after we voiced our concerns over it, he said my case, because of the way it was presenting itself, would qualify for a lumpectomy and he would not refuse to do it if that is what we wanted. We were very pleased and chose the lumpectomy.

Since he said it was not truly a "life-threatening" situation, we chose to wait a few weeks to have the surgery done. October was such a busy month for us, so we chose Tuesday, November 6th - Election Day, which was over a month away. (We were able to vote early, so that worked out well for us!)

Once again, we were WAITING... Just when you think your circumstances have already produced enough patience in you, something like this comes up to test that. How much patience do you really have? I had to continue trusting that it would all work out for the best.

TRUST and OBEY