A Better Understanding of Autism

In light of Autism Awareness Month, I revised an article I wrote a couple of years ago, and want to share it with you now...

When my 15-year-old daughter was born, I never considered the fact that she might be among the many diagnosed with autism. At that time, I believe the numbers were 1 in 250 being diagnosed, but I wasn’t too aware of what it all meant until my life was personally immersed in it. I quickly learned that autism is a spectrum disorder, which means the symptoms and characteristics of it can appear in various combinations, ranging from mild to severe. No two children are alike. I also learned the symptoms of autism can improve with various therapies and treatments, which is very good to know. Unfortunately, one thing I wish I hadn’t learned is that raising a child with autism also includes being exposed to merciless comments made about you or your child. The comments are not always intended to be hurtful, but they usually come from a lack of understanding about the disorder. With this in mind, many parents have learned to ignore the comments (even though they do hurt) and/or have made efforts to educate those who will listen. That is my purpose for writing this article – not to whine and complain about unfair treatment, but to increase the awareness and familiarity of autism, and to help give others a better understanding of those affected by it. 

NOTE:  Included in this article are actual comments spoken from people who were misinformed about autism. These quotes were specifically sent to me by other parents of autistic children from various online support groups. (You would be amazed at how many comments I received, so weeding them down to a few was difficult.) Permission was granted to publish the comments; however, identifying names have been removed in order to protect the privacy of each one involved.

Comments Regarding Discipline

1.  Tina says: After my son had a tantrum in McDonald's, an elderly couple asked me if he was ok. I replied “He's fine, he has autism and sometimes...” and in mid-sentence, they interrupted me and said, "That's nothing a good swift kick in the butt wouldn't cure.”  

2.  Veronica had a very close relative tell her, "He is not autistic, he is just taking advantage of you, can't you see that? His problem is simple, he is just SPOILT, that's all.” 

3.  Lynn says: My daughter was “acting up” one day because we were away from home and in a different environment. She may have been hungry or tired, but just didn’t know how to tell me. I was having a hard time getting her to stay calm when my aunt (who was visiting from out of state) asked, “Would she listen better to her grandpa?” implying that my daughter’s behavior was due to a discipline problem and she needed a firmer hand to make her behave.  

Autism spectrum disorders are neurodevelopmental in nature, and it is difficult for affected children to understand the environment around them. They have barriers in their brains that make it difficult for them to adapt to their surroundings. This may include (but is not limited to) sensory dysfunction, lack of social skills, lack of communication skills and compulsive tendencies. As a child gets overwhelmed, he may “act out” in various ways to help him cope, such as arm flapping, rocking, screaming, crying, and/or being uncooperative. Many people confuse these behaviors with a lack of discipline, which is not always the case, and should never be automatically assumed.

Comments Regarding Special Diets

1.  Said to Laura - “Doesn't he starve?” 

2.  Said to Monica - "Maybe he won't talk because you won't give him the food he wants."

3.  One mom shared that her son's school felt she was being abusive because her son was on a restrictive diet for autism. The school said it is unhealthy to deny a child fast food and candy like other kids get.

Many children who have been diagnosed with autism or sensory processing disorders have dramatically improved after being put on special diets, such as gluten-free and casein-free (GFCF). Gluten is a protein found in wheat, oats, barley and rye. Casein is the protein found in milk products. Other diets, such as the Feingold Diet, include the removal of preservatives and artificial dyes. The limitations of these special diets are apparently confusing to many misinformed people.

Comments Pertaining to Language Delays

1.  Monica says: When strangers say “Hi” to my 4-year-old autistic son, I often tell them he cannot talk. Once, I got the comment, "Maybe he just doesn't have anything to say.” One lady actually said, "What did you do to the poor child?" 

2.  Said to Debi - "She can't be autistic. She's too smart." 

3.  Said to Laura - “Well, what did you expect. You let him point to an object to get his way - you should have made him talk.” 

Contrary to what some believe, the lack of speech in an autistic child does not mean the child is without intelligence. Children with autism do learn, and many can be successfully taught to function, when they are given appropriate therapies and treatment. Simply put, autism produces barriers in the brain which does not allow information to process correctly. A child with autism may actually understand what you say, but the barriers hinder him from being able to respond appropriately. However, many autistic children can develop functional language and others can develop some type of communication skills, such as sign language or use of pictures. Those who are mildly affected by the disorder may exhibit only slight delays in language, but could have a greater lack in social skills. Therefore, he or she may not be able to initiate or maintain a proper conversation. Communication is often described as “talking at others” instead of with them. For example, they may continue to talk about a favorite subject without pausing, despite the attempts of others to interject comments.

Comments Regarding Odd Behaviors

1.  Laurel’s son refused to eat meat of any kind due to oral-sensory issues. Someone said to her, “Can't you just reason with him?"

2.      Curtis shared how his son (5 years old at the time) would repeat things over and over. While at the store, he would say Hi to the employees, using their name from their nametags, then asked them continually, "What are you doing, (insert name)? Most employees could figure out that he had some type of learning problem, but one responded sternly, "I've answered you once; you should understand that by now." 

3.      Monica said:  One time in the grocery store, my son was flapping his arms. A man walked by and asked, "How long will he do that until he realizes he cannot fly?" 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 68 school children in the United Stated, have some form of autism. With the way autism has increased in numbers, I believe in the importance of making others aware of it. It is now considered an “epidemic.” Chances are, if a family member does not have autism, you will at least eventually run into someone who does. So, when that happens, please remember there is probably a reason why this child is “acting out” in some odd way. With sensory issues, compulsive tendencies, and lack of communication skills, these children are doing the best they can with whatever situation they are in. The parents, likewise, are doing the best they can to keep their child calm, happy, and secure in his world. Instead of making unnecessary comments, please be kind and courteous. A simple smile or a pat on the arm can be more encouraging than you realize.    

For more information about autism, please check out these websites: 

AUTISM SOCIETY OF AMERICA

AUTISM SPEAKS

MINISTRY FOCUS: Build On Truth Ministries

UPDATE: This ministry is no longer active due to the death of the founder in May 2017. 
 
In the past, I have posted about various Christian ministries to help make you aware of what is out there - who we can be supporting through prayer or financial support, who we can refer others to, etc. Well, today's ministry focus is near and dear to my heart, because it is for my dad.

Dr. James L. McIntosh has been involved in various ministry opportunities for as long as I have known him, but is now taking a new step of faith. He is retiring from Brookes Bible College in May, and will be venturing out to provide pulpit supply and interim pastoral services to area churches, as well as be available for seminars and revivals.

Check out his new website for more information:
BUILD ON TRUTH MINISTRIES

This is an exciting step for him, and also a new challenge. Please keep him in prayer as he follows the Lord's leading in this area; and, if your church is interested in his services, please use the contact form on the website. He would love to hear from you!

Autism Affects Us All

 

 

 

You may be seeing a lot of blue lights shining this month, people wearing blue, people wearing puzzle piece pins, people decorating their homes and businesses - all to help increase awareness of autism.

Why all the attention on this disorder? Because the new numbers from the CDC show 1 in 68 kids now being diagnosed. We all need to be aware of this disorder because these kids will be grownups someday. Autism affects, or will affect EVERYONE on earth in some way.

If you don't know much about autism, please look it up or ask questions about it.  My husband and I would be happy to answer any questions regarding our daughter.

Blind Sight to Blurred Vision

I was a student at the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and it was my first Easter away from home. Due to a 5-hour distance between school and home, and the need to save money, I wasn’t able to go home for the weekend (Spring Break and Easter did not fall in the same week that year). So, I had no family to be spend Easter Sunday with (more appropriately called Resurrection Day for Christians).  Honestly, Easter was no big deal to me at this time. I had become calloused to its meaning. It was spending the Holiday alone that bothered me the most. I wouldn’t have minded staying at school so much if I had been surrounded by my friends; but they had all found someplace else to go, so I was feeling lonely and depressed. I later found out, being alone that day was what I needed. It taught me a surprising, yet valuable, lesson about myself, and helped me have a better appreciation of Christ's love for me.

During my time at school, I normally attended a church with my closest friends but, since none of them were available that weekend, my neighbor invited me to go with her. I accepted her offer and was excited about having some company. Besides that, her church was having a pancake breakfast that morning. "Why not?" I thought. So, I finished getting ready and knocked on her door. It was disappointing to find she had overslept and couldn’t make it to the church bus on time. The church service I usually attended had already begun by that point, and I felt like staying in my room and not going to church at all. However, something kept pulling at me to go ahead and take the bus to my neighbor’s church. Finally, since I was already dressed, I decided I would go ahead without her.

At church, I sat at a table eating pancakes with other college students I barely knew. I felt out of place. I finished eating, then headed upstairs to the sanctuary, arriving earlier than most of the others. I took a seat near the back and waited for the service to begin. As I sat there, I noticed a big, square, stained glass window at the front of the church. The framed window embraced an array of beautiful colors consisting of blue, yellow, green and red. Under other circumstances, it would have been interesting to me. However, I hate to admit it, I was still feeling sorry for myself and didn’t pay much attention to it. It was just a window.

The service began like any other service, with prayer and singing. I went through the motions with no real joy in my heart. But, then, my attention was sparked when an unexpected performance took place at the front of the church. The story of the "Ragman" was read by a student and dramatized by several others in pantomime style. To be brief, the story was about a man (symbolizing Christ) who traded his new, clean rags for someone else’s old, dirty rags. As he took a dirty rag, he also placed upon himself whatever infirmity that person had - a broken heart, a bleeding wound, a missing arm, or a fatal disease. Finally, the ragman entered a garbage dump with all of his dirty rags.... and he died.

It was during the telling of the ragman’s death that, for some reason, I was drawn to look up at the stained glass window again. This time, I was surprised to find myself focusing in on all the pieces of red stained glass. What I saw amazed me. I must have been blind not to have noticed it before. All of the red pieces were centered in the window and came together to make a cross. A beautiful red cross, symbolizing the one which Christ had been nailed to. He hung on a cross and shed his blood for the forgiveness of sins, all out of love. At that point, I realized how calloused I had become to the meaning of Easter (Resurrection Day). My vision was blurred as hot tears filled my eyes. The Lord’s presence surrounded me and I no longer felt alone. I knew the Lord was there with me, and had been the entire time. The reality of Christ's death and resurrection was once again renewing my soul.

When I left the church that day, I was a different person. All I could think about was the cross in the window, an unforgettable surprise. The sight of it made me realize how easy it is to take Christ's love for granted. This realization helped me understand the importance of celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It's not just another day. It's a special day that helps us reflect on the Lord and what He did for us.

As Easter comes around this year, I hope you don't think of it as "no big deal." Instead, realize that Easter helps us remember the biggest deal there ever was.

 

"I Like Giving" by Brad Formsma (Book Review)

I LIKE GIVING by Brad Formsma is a book based on the website by the same name: ILikeGiving.com. Both the website and the book include many stories about GIVING, that help inspire all of us to make a difference in others lives - and how age or money does not need to limit us!

Here is an example of one of the stories in video form:

I LIKE BEING 98

 

The book is the written form of the stories. It has twelve chapters which share inspiring stories, but also includes personal experiences from FORMSMA as he shares his journey to living a more generous life. You can click below to read the first chapter: 

I LIKE GIVING - FIRST CHAPTER

 

Here are some good quotes from the book:

"Joy doesn't come from filling your life with stuff. Joy comes from giving your life away." (p. 20)

"Giving is living, and when you start living generously, you'll be ruined for any other type of life." (p. 26)

"Did you know that giving actually has measurable health benefits and can help you live longer?" (p.67)

"Sometimes the giving that makes the least amount of sense brings the most joy." (p. 76)

"Giving is something you get to do, not something you've got to do. Giving promotes life and happiness. In fact, I've never met an angry and bitter generous person."  (p. 97)

"Every time we give, a story begins, and the rippling effects of one simple act are immeasurable." (p.195)

 
To go along with the "I LIKE" theme....

I LIKE hearing inspiring stories.

I LIKE receiving practical ideas on how to give to others.

I LIKE listening to the Lord's prompting to help make a difference in someone's life.

I LIKE giving.

Pick up a copy of the book when you get a chance! I received my copy FREE from Blogging For Books for review purposes, and I have expressed my own opinions about it.

A Possible Sleep Disorder for EL

EIGHT MONTHS AGO, our daughter was diagnosed with seizures and began taking medication to control them. As far as we know, she has not had any more visible seizures (unless she has had some at night that we haven't seen). However, for the past 6 months (or there-about), we have noticed some differences in EL's behaviors:  signs of depression, easily irritated, outbursts of anger, difficulty comprehending, and a decrease in cognitive function. After Christmas, I called her Neurologist to discuss whether or not the seizure meds were the cause of these changes. She said it is very possible. However, she also wanted to rule out a sleep disorder, since we had previously discussed EL's seeming lack of sleep. We were referred to the sleep clinic and an appointment was set for March 12th (which was this past Wednesday).

Our consultation with the Nurse Practitioner at the sleep clinic went well. They asked us a lot of questions and determined EL should be evaluated for a sleep disorder. The NP suspects either Restless Legs Syndrome or Sleep Apnea. Based on the behavior changes, and family history, I am thinking more along the lines of Sleep Apnea, but we will see. We are waiting to be scheduled for an overnight stay at the clinic, most likely sometime in April. I will be staying with her in the room. They will hook her up to all sorts of machines and watch her breathing, movement, sleep cycles, etc. They will also do an overnight EEG to determine if she is having seizures in her sleep. This is something we have been wanting done for several years, so its good we are finally getting it done. In the meantime, we are increasing EL's iron intake, and will also be giving Melatonin - two things recommended by the NP.

I am thankful for good doctors and for the medical technology that provides us with needed answers; but, if I were to say I'm not tired of seeing all these specialists, I would be lying. I know EL is tired  as well. Over the past 9 months, she has seen her Pediatrician, a Neurologist, an Endocrinologist, a Neuro-surgeon, an Ophthalmologist, a Neuro-Oncologist, and now the sleep clinic. She has also had bloodwork drawn several times, has had a sleep deprived EEG, and had 3 MRI's. It has not been easy on any of us. BUT...  the difficulties we face in this life are only helping to draw us closer to our Lord.

James 4:8 - Draw near to God and

He will draw near to you.

 

Veggie Tales Book: Pirates, Mess Detectives, and a Superhero

My kids have loved VEGGIE TALES since the 1st episode came out on VHS. So, when I had the chance to review a new Veggie Tales book "PIRATES, MESS DETECTIVES, AND A SUPERHERO," I took it!

Karen Poth is the author of this book. It is a hardback, colorful book that includes three Level 1 readers into one. A fun book for parents to read aloud to their kids; or it can give some fun reading practice to beginning readers as they read on their own. More accomplished readers would enjoy it also!

The first story, "Pirate in Training," shares how Junior Asparagus didn't like school and wanted to play all day long, like a pirate. The pirates explained that it was hard work to be a pirate also, and that school can open up doors you would never be able to walk through without an education.

The next story is "Larry Boy and the Mudslingers." It's a creative story about anger and forgiveness.

Then, "Listen up, Larry" is a detective story that explains the importance of listening when someone is talking to you.

I give the book a thumbs up. All three stories have good moral standards shared in a fun, simple way; and the illustrations are nicely done. So, if you and your kids enjoy Veggie Tales, this would be a good book to pick up.

NOTE: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review program. I was not required to write a positive review, and the opinions I have expressed are my own.

Thrive

Are you thriving?

My favorite contemporary Christian artist is CASTING CROWNS.  I've been listening to their newest album THRIVE over the past week and, as always, I am not disappointed in the music or the lyrics. Their albums always bring encouragement to me. Here's a little sample from 3 of their new songs...

From the title song THRIVE:
We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives
Its time for us to more than just survive
We were made to thrive

From the song JUST BE HELD:
So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world's not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

From the song YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE:
I want to know You more
I want to make You known
I want this world to see
That You're alive in me
Jesus, You're the only One
Who can right every wrong
You are the only One
Who can calm every storm

From the Casting Crowns Website:
God didn’t put you here just so you could survive through hard times. He put you here to thrive, to dig in and to reach out, and this record is an effort to draw a picture of what a believer, a follower of Jesus, would look like if they dug into their roots and understood God and themselves more.” ~Mark Hall

All of the songs are based on Scripture, and the verse chosen for the title song is Jeremiah 17:7-8, which says: Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit.

Are you trusting in the Lord?
Are you planted by the Living Water?
Are you continuing to thrive, even when the heat tries to destroy you? 

 

BOOK REVIEW: Bible Stories for His Beautiful Princess

What a sweet book! BIBLE STORIES FOR HIS BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS is written by bestselling author Sheri Rose Shepherd, and adorably illustrated by Shelley Dieterichs. The book is medium-sized, easy to handle, and uses lots of little girly colors like pinks and purples to make it appealing to all little princesses. 

There are 37 short chapters, so that’s enough for more than a month’s worth of devotionals. Each devotional starts with a verse from God’s Word; then the main text has a couple of short, easy to read paragraphs that coincide with the verse; then there is a short prayer; and, finally, a "Princess Jewel" which is a simple truth/summary of what was just read.

At the end of the book, there is a "letter from God" that shares what a special treasure your little girl is - a beautiful princess in God’s eyes. Then, the final section is a salvation prayer that can be used if needed.

I can see that the main purpose of this book is to share how much God loves and cares for His children and how He wants them to know Him better. It’s a special book written for the special little girls in your life. It would make an excellent Easter gift!

Disclaimer: Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes. I have shared my own opinion.

BOOK REVIEW: Let There Be Light

The Biblical creation of the world is presented in a unique way in LET THERE BE LIGHT, written by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and illustrated by Nancy Tillman.

Each of the pages in this children’s book include original illustrations which are accompanied by a few words of text. With those words, the author describes what God (our Creator) made on each of the 6 days of creation. Then, he also shares how God rested on day 7, and how He was very pleased with his work.

The illustrations are beautifully done, and have little surprises interspersed throughout the pages. For example, a vague figure can be seen among the clouds or in the center of the sun on some pages, representing the Creator no doubt. It was fun to look at the pages and try to uncover the hidden pictures.

I would say the book is good to share with the little ones in your life. The only criticism I have is something my husband pointed out to me:  The end of the book has the potential to cause confusion regarding the creation of Adam and Eve, the first people. While the text speaks of the creation of man, the illustration shows several children rather than an adult male and female couple. So, this would need to be discussed with your children as you read it to them. Also, the book does not include any Scripture references.

It is probably best suited for ages 4-8, but kids of various other ages could enjoy it also. It can bring about interaction, discussion, a time of learning about the days of Creation, and a time of togetherness.

Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers book review bloggers program (previously known as Book Sneeze). I was not required to write a positive review, and the opinions I have expressed are my own.